Hello, and welcome to episode 41. In the final behind the scenes episode of the year, I wanted to talk about my most unusual series, Moderation Online, and the story behind it.
Now, if you haven’t heard me talk about my Moderation Online series, here’s the idea: a group of terrorist vegetables attempts to take down an empire of processed foods.
Before you run away laughing, I promise I’m not crazy. Far from it.
I like to tell the story of how I spent time in the hospital in 2012 due to an illness. Well, when I was in the hospital, I was on a heavy dose of morphine, and one of the side effects of morphine is hallucinations. It makes you incoherent, and you see things.
I couldn’t eat solid food, which made the problem even worse because I didn’t have a full stomach, so the hallucinations were intense.
I remember being on my hospital bed one night, wishing I could eat. Seriously, I would have done anything for a cheeseburger.
What happened next completely changed my life and made me into an artist. I promise that everything that you’re about to hear actually happened, and that I’m not crazy. I am not making this up.
I was laying on my bed, and I heard someone whisper my name.
“Michael.”
I looked around but didn’t see anyone.
Then I heard my name again.
“Michael.”
Sitting in my room was a giant cheeseburger. He had arms and legs, and greasy eyes. He had teeth, which were dripping with cheddar. He was seven feet tall and probably six feet across. And he had a New York accent.
“Hey buddy, let’s get out of here,” he said.
“Get out of here?” I asked. “Where are we going to go?”
I don’t remember what happened after that. All I remember was the cheeseburger standing in my room, grinning at me.
Later that night, as I tried to sleep, I couldn’t. I kept dreaming about a huge city. It was one of the biggest cities I’d ever seen, and it was lit up with lights under a dusky sky. But the odd thing about the city was that the buildings were made of food—the skyscrapers were made from cereal boxes. Blimps shaped like TV dinners flew over the city, with cryptic messages flowing across their TV screens.
Something about that city scared me—it had a bad energy, like a place you didn't want to visit.
I kept dreaming about it. It loomed on the horizon of my dreams, and I didn't know what to make of it.
After I got out of the hospital and recovered, I remembered those hallucinations. For years I couldn't stop thinking about that talking cheeseburger and the scary city.
I decided to write a novel about it, which ended up being Food City, Book 1 in the Moderation Online series.
The series follows Kendall Barnes, a citizen of the near future, where obesity and heart disease are ravaging the world, to the point where doctors don’t know what to do about it. A group of doctors devises a unique strategy—a virtual reality video game where humans interact with anthropomorphic vegetable characters and go on quests with them. By doing this, humans subconsciously learn that vegetables are good, and it prompts them to eat better, and improve their health.
Kendall is an obese African-American man, and he is enrolled in this experimental game after having a heart attack for the first time. While he’s being uploaded into the game, hackers inject malicious code into the game, corrupting it. That code is a civilization of processed foods who take the vegetables hostage and trap the humans in their city of salt, sugar, and fat under the false illusion that processed foods are their friends and vegetables are evil. Vegetables live under the city as second-class citizens, starved of food and sunlight.
Instead of an idyllic world with friendly vegetables which was the intent of the game, Kendall ends up in New Eaton, the dangerous city of processed foods, and he falls under their spell. The ruler of the city is a sparkling cloud of salt named Sodius, and Kendall pledges allegiance to Sodius and his race of processed foods in exchange for a life of partying, fun, and gambling.
The book begins at a festival where Kendall and humans hunt vegetables and kill them for pure pleasure. A gang of vegetables orchestrates an attack that claims several lives, led by a mysterious stalk of broccoli named Brocc. Brocc is hell-bent on destroying the processed foods and restoring balance to the world. During the attack, Brocc takes Kendall hostage, using him as collateral, and the two clash big time.
Brocc seems like a villain, but Kendall slowly learns the truth about the evil city and the processed foods’ true intentions, and he realizes that maybe the vegetables aren’t the bad guys after all.
Yes, I know, it sounds crazy, but really, the story is a statement about our dangerous relationship with food. It’s also heavily inspired by the Final Fantasy series, anime, and comics. Moreso than most of my series, this one is out there—it’s fast-paced, fun, and unforgettable.
I have a tough job marketing this series, as you can probably tell. The premise scares most people off, but when those who stick around read it, they usually enjoy it because it’s so different and fun.
I didn’t help myself with the first round of book covers, either. They were pretty ugly, and that was my fault for not giving my designer better clarity because the designer was amazing. The first covers had Brocc on the cover, and he’s a stalk of broccoli in a leather jacket, a gold earring, and red Chucks. But seriously though, can you imagine a book cover designer seeing a book like this coming into their email inbox? I did NOT make this easy on him.
The second designer though did a much better job, primarily because I understood the marketing a little better. The covers now have Kendall on the front, with a futuristic city in the background. The cover for Book 3, Delicious Zeal, is probably one of my favorite book covers in my collection. So yeah, I’ve had to learn how to market this book over the years, because it’s a challenge. But for me, it’s worth it.
Anyway, that’s the story behind Moderation Online. So if you haven’t stopped listening to this episode yet—which I suspect many people have already, check it out. You can find it at michaellaronn.com/moderationline. You won’t be disappointed.
Hello, and welcome to episode 40. In this month’s sketchbook episode, I wanted to share some of my favorite Christmas memories.
We’re getting close to Christmas and here in the states, the snow is falling and Christmas lights are up on all the houses. This episode is a hodgepodge of my favorite Christmas memories, which I think is a great way to end the year.
Christmas has always been an important holiday for my family, not so much because of the gifts but because of the time we spend together.
We never went to church much, though after I married my wife, we do, as her family is more religious and church is a part of their holiday ritual.
I like Christmas.
I don't care about the gifts, but I do like the snowy weather, seeing Christmas lights and decorations, and the various treats that people make like gingerbread cookies.
In fact, one of my favorite Christmas memories is about cookies.
My dad ran a barber college for a long time, and around the end of the year, he always brought home gifts that his customers would bring him. It seemed like every day in December he would come home with some kind of gift—cheese and crackers, tickets to a show, or, my favorite—Archway cookies.
One of his customers was a distributor of Archway cookies, which are a relatively popular brand of cookies here in the states. He’d always send my dad home with packs and packs of cookies—chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, molasses, lemon. My sister and I would snack on them for weeks. The cookies were huge too, with 6-9 per package.
I don't know why, but those cookies always bring back memories for me.
Another thing that brings back memories is the smell of pine. For years we bought real Christmas trees. The house would smell of wild pine needles, and what I remember most is how they were pine needles everywhere. All over the carpet, on the baseboards, in the rooms. The trees shed their needles like hair, and after Christmas, we’d have to vacuum the entire house several times. My dad and I had to refresh a pan of water at the base of the tree so that it wouldn’t dry out.
We’d decorate our Christmas tree with ornaments, tinsel, and strings of colorful lights, all while listening to smooth jazz. My parents had a nice stereo system with huge speakers, and my dad was a fan of Kenny G, so we’d listen to Kenny G’s Christmas album while drinking hot chocolate and decorating the tree. We’d eat those wonderful Archway cookies, too.
Another of my favorite Christmas memories is snow. Everyone loves snow, but there’s one memory I’ll never forget. We lived in a condo complex, and there was a Walgreens two blocks away, so whenever I had some money, I’d often throw it in my pocket and walk to the Walgreens so I could buy a soda or candy. I was nine or ten, so I bought candy a lot. One day, after a fresh snow, the walk was slow-going and cold. I walked through the grassy clearing behind our condo complex to the edge of the neighborhood where the Walgreens was.
And I remember this intense, quiet stillness.
I stood on the sidewalk, with my neighborhood behind me, a fire station across the street, which was silent. The Walgreens sits on a major street, and there wasn’t a single car on the road. I was the only person outside, and for a moment, I was one with the glittering snow. The funny part was that when I bought my candy and walked home, the street was full of cars. I happened on the street at the perfect time, and it’s a moment I’ll never forget.
Now, no Christmas is complete without presents, and we definitely practiced gift giving as a family. As a kid, I always liked looking at wrapping paper. I don’t know why. I cared less about the gift than the design of the wrapping paper. I’ve always been drawn to color—something about it around Christmas evokes an intense emotional response for me. That’s why I use color a lot in my books because I see first in color, then I imagine the other senses around it.
I remember spending one Christmas alone. My parents went on a trip back to St. Louis where we’re from, but I couldn’t go because I had to work. So I remember spending a Christmas alone, and it was awesome. I had the whole house to myself and could do whatever I wanted. I think I played video games or something. Now, I could never imagine spending a Christmas alone—too much family, too many people to see, and I’m at the point in my life where there are some family members I may never see again, so I’ve learned to always make holidays a priority.
Another interesting Christmas memory is a recent one. My daughter loves watching shows on Netflix and Hulu, and she happened to find the Radio City Rockettes Christmas Spectacular. She watched it over and over…and as the parent of a two-year-old, trust me when I say hearing the same songs over and over gets old really fast. But this movie never got old for me. I love the music, the sentiment, the characters, and the dancers. It’s such a great show from a showmanship perspective—everything is perfect. I still get chills every time I watch the curtain call. I’ve equated that musical with Christmas—I can’t spend a Christmas season without watching it a few times, even though my daughter has moved on to new and different shows.
Anyway, those are random memories that were on my mind lately as I head into another Christmas season. Wherever you are, if you celebrate Christmas, I’m sure that you have memories of your own, and I certainly invite you to share them with me on the show notes page for this episode at michaellaronn.com/episode40. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, that’s fine too—share your favorite family memory with me.
I’m grateful for all of you who listen to this show, and I wish you and your families all the best this holiday season. Have fun, be merry, and don’t sweat the little things. As for me, I’ll be drinking cinnamon tea and watching the Rockettes.
In this week’s episode, I’ll be reading my one and two star reviews, because, well, it’ll be fun.
Hello, and welcome to episode 38. This week, I thought it would be fun to spend some time reading the very thing that keeps a lot of people down—one star reviews.
I’ve never let reviews bother me that much, though I’d be lying to you if I said they didn’t affect me at all. Some hit home pretty hard, but you know what? That’s part of being a writer. It just means that someone, somewhere didn’t like my book. Out of the several billion people that live on this planet, there’s bound to be plenty of people who don’t like what I write. And there’s bound to be plenty more who do.
I view it as my job to get my books into the hands of the people that will enjoy reading them. Sometimes it’s not a good fit, and those people are totally within their rights to give the book a poor review. I’ve always believed that bad reviews actually help readers find books because they might identify with something in the review that they don’t like, thus moving onto another book. That in and of itself saves me another bad review. On the flip side, there might be someone reading through my reviews, and they’ll see a bad one and then say, “This reader is full of crap. This sounds like my kind of book!” And so they buy my book in support. The reading and buying process is funny like that.
Some authors rely too much on reviews. They listen to everything readers say, and they let it shape their artistic decisions about their work. That’s a fatal mistake. Just because readers have opinions doesn’t mean that I have to follow them, just like they don’t have to read every single book that someone recommends them. If you ever talk to me in private, you’ll notice that I’m quite stubborn when it comes to my creative ideas. I don’t compromise. That’s a disservice to the true fans who like my work.
Some authors say you shouldn’t acknowledge reviews at all. Generally, I believe in that. That’s why I won’t be sharing the names of any of my reviewers in this episode. But I also believe that you can’t simply ignore what people are saying about your work. I liken it to a manufacturer of a product. If you make tea kettles, you would want to know what customers are saying about your tea kettle right? Maybe they love it. Maybe they hate it. That doesn’t matter. What matters is the spirit of what they’re saying, what resonates with them. Maybe they bought it because your marketing connected with them and they speak to that in the review. Or maybe they don’t buy it because it reminds them too much of another product they bought and hated. I believe that there are clues there that can help you with the next product in terms of how you position it in the marketplace.
I’m a big believer in knowing where I stand, with people and in the marketplace. If people aren’t buying my book, that’s fine, but I want to know why. Not to act on it, but to understand where I stand. Helps me keep my expectations realistic.
Anyway, that’s my bit on reviews.
Let’s get to the fun stuff.
**\*
Main character is whiny, weak, pathetic.
Didn't like this story. A weak character. It was well written but I could not wait to get to the end and find something else to read.
The story was very disjointed and the characters felt flat. The first one third of the book was the main character following two other characters around without really knowing who they were, where they were going or why. I almost quit several times and by the ending I wished I had.
If you want to read about the trials of a man who actually conned himself into thinking a ritual with a particular powerful object would get his dead wife back & finds himself on the road to a literal hell, this is a book for you. Dante did it far better.
I really disliked the ending. You could see it coming halfway through the book. I understand this is the first in a series but more closure would of been nice.
I wanted to like this but couldn't make heads or tails of it. Finally just stopped reading. To bad I have all three books
In a real futuristic tale one is cleverly convinced that the characters could possibly exist. I wasn't.
The first 6 chapters were great, really creative and held my interest. After that, not so much. Perhaps it gets better later on, but by chapter 9 I lost interest. The grafting on of modern tech into a world with Dragons and elves was a bit much. I think the author got lazy or ran out of creativity! Laptops and Smart phones are not necessarily developments of a tech society.
Galaxy Guard pulls over a private starship, as if it was a traffic stop by a police officer. The Petty Officers ask for driver licenses and registration (sic). No plates on starship as it is a new purchase. Hyperdrive is fueled by gasoline. Childish and childlike is being kind. Bailed at end of Chapter 4, 16% in.
I mean, it’s like nothing about space is actually real. Why would you hang ‘emergency spacesuits’ right next to your regular spacesuits? What kind of spaceship fuel would be containerized and kept in the berthing spaces? Why couldn’t the spacer simply pull himself up…gravity in space? If you know nothing about space or the Coast Guard, you may be able to tolerate the almost comically bad plot. I could not. Normally, burning books is bad. If I had gotten this as a paperback, I would make an exception. Even a used bookstore shouldn’t stock this.
I got this as part of Kindle Unlimited and was unable to get past the first chapter or two. It was as if someone had written a book about the coast guard and then dared them to change it to science fiction by changing oceans to galaxies. Starts off doing an inspection and checking if the life preservers were there and it was noted the engine on the intergalactic vessel had its oil topped off and that is where it lost me..fini. Maybe the beginning was a dream sequence and it gets better but I have my doubts..
I was so excited to read this book after skimming through the sample… and then so disappointed.
**\*
I’ll stop there. I didn’t edit any of these, so as you heard, some of them were pretty harsh, and I’ll admit that they stung a little when I read them for the first time.
But what gives me some encouragement is that this is only 12 reviews. Out of many, many more reviews. In fact, most of my reviews are overwhelmingly positive. So sure, this was 12 people. Am I going to base my career on the opinions of twelve people? Nope.
What also encourages me about these reviews are the people that are NOT going to buy my books as a result of reading them. Most of these reviews are simply honest opinions, but a few of them venture into troll territory. What these few reviewers don’t realize is that they’re actually helping validate my book. It would be odd to say I’m grateful for trolls—I’m not—but I do find it pretty ironic that they put so much time and energy into negative reviews that do nothing but help the very person they’re intended to hurt.
So anyway, I read these reviews to show those of you that everyone gets one-star reviews. You could go to a Stephen King book, or any other author and see substantially the same sentiment in the one-star and two-star sections. If you’re a writer, that should give you some courage.
Hello, and welcome to show. We have yet another month in the year that has 5 Thursdays, so I thought I’d take this time to play a sample from my short story collection, Reconciled People.
If you listened to last week’s show, you got to hear all about Reconciled People, but if you haven’t heard it, check it out at www.michaellaronn.com/episode36.
Reconciled People is 10 short stories centered on ordinary people who encounter challenges that force them to reconcile their fears. It is my second-published book, but one I’m proud of because the stories are immediate and fun. The collection exemplifies why I love short stories, and why I respect them so much as a medium. The book is a celebration of short stories, actually.
Here’s an excerpt from the audiobook version of Reconciled People, read by Lori Faiella, of a story in the collection called “The Book of Cutty.”
Hope you enjoyed the sample. You can pick up your copy of Reconciled People at www.michaellaronn.com/reconciledpeople. Thanks for listening.
Since there are 5 Thursdays in November, this week I’m sharing an audiobook excerpt from my short story collection, Reconciled People, narrated by Lori Faiella. It’s a short collection, but the audiobook is mighty!
Had some technical issues with my computer so this month is just me talking.
In personal news, I am dealing with some family illness issues, so that has gotten in the way of my plans for late November and December, maybe January. There’s nothing wrong with me—I’m fine—but I’ve got to take care of my family, so that comes first. I’m a big proponent of following my own advice. I don’t think that the podcast will be affected at this point, but if I have to miss a week or two, I hope you guys can understand. Sometimes when life happens, you have to drop a few balls and focus on what’s important.
Roadblocks aside, I had a great month.
In writing news, I am working on a new nonfiction book for outlining for writers. Outlining is a hot topic on Author Level Up, so I plan to contribute my own flavor to the books that are currently out there.
I am also working on a secret project that I’m going to unveil next month hopefully. It will be the biggest thing I’ve ever done. I won’t say much about it, other than that it is going to be an extremely transparent look into the process of writing, something I’ve never seen done before.
In other news, I spoke at the 20BooksVegas conference. I did a presentation titled “How to be a part-time writer with full-time results”, and I talked about how I balance writing with all my other responsibilities. The speech was very well-received and honestly, one of the best times I’ve ever had on stage. What a fantastic conference—everyone there was supportive, and I met some amazing people and did some great networking. A video of the speech will be live on YouTube sometime soon, so I’ll share it when it goes live. Craig Martelle and Michael Anderle did an amazing job with this conference, and it’s probably the best conference for indies in the world. That’s a bold claim, but every detail of this conference was so meticulously planned that I can agree.
I was chatting with Craig, and we hit it off pretty well, so I will also be helping Craig organize the conference next year, which will be a great opportunity for me to see behind the scenes of how events like this work. I have a 10-15 year vision of doing an author conference of my own. So if you’re interested in attending 20BooksVegas in 2019 and you would like to meet me in person, be sure to check it out at 20booksvegas.com. The dates are November 12-15, 2019 at Sam’s Town Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada.
In other news, I have a few podcast interviews to share. My interview with Amy Collins of New Shelves Books went live this month, as did another interview with fellow writer Jim Woods. In Amy’s interview, I talk about YouTube for Writers and how to start a channel. In Jim’s interview, I talk about tips for writing engaging fiction. See the show notes for links.
In other personal news, I’m heading into a law school exam. Wish me luck…I should be okay, but exam time is the first half of December and I always get a little nervous during that time. It’ll be a major relief when I’m done though.
Next month I'll be back as usual but the calls to action will be different. I'm no longer using Anchor so I'll have a different way for you to send me questions.
