Ep 27: My Friend, Falling in Love

Ep 27: My Friend, Falling in Love

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This week's episode is sponsored by my poetry collection, Android Poems!

This week celebrates love, so what better way to celebrate than poetry? Download this intensely emotional poetry collection that explores love in the year 2300 by clicking here.

SHOW NOTES

In this week’s episode, I talk about how I watched a friend of mine fall in love.

    Sound/Music Credits for this week's episode

    TRANSCRIPT

      Have you ever watched someone fall in love?

      Their outlook becomes rosier. They smile more. They’re more pleasant to be around.

      I’ve been fortunate enough to see friends in my life fall in love. And when it happens, it makes me happy.

      In this week’s sketchbook, I want to talk about when a friend of mine met someone special.

      ***

      Hello, and welcome to episode 27. Twenty seven is a lovely number. A number of love.

      Ok, maybe I’m making that up, but this is definitely an episode with a flair of romance and infatuation.

      I wanted to talk this week about a friend who met a very special woman. He met her when he was in college, and he was completely infatuated with her.

      I was in college in Des Moines, Iowa, and he was in school in St. Louis, Missouri. I visited him throughout the summer and we would hang out, usually in the form of driving through the scenic streets of St. Louis and listening to jazz.

      I remember him telling me about her.

      My friend, who is usually pretty even keeled about things, was excited. To this day I’ll never forget the enthusiasm in his voice.

      What’s even crazier is that I was driving. Usually my memory is crap when I’m multitasking, but I remembered all his words crystal clear.

      It was a rainy evening in St. Louis, and we were stuck in crazy traffic.

      So while we were fighting traffic and listening to some jazz, he told me this woman’s story.

      It affected me so much that I went home later that night and I wrote the story down in my sketchbook. This was back in 2008, I think.

      There are a few times in a writer’s career when you realize that you’re experiencing something special that will end up in a book someday.

      Now, I’ve changed the woman’s name and some key details, but what follows is pretty much exactly what my friend told me.

      ***

      Regina has cream-colored skin, like chai tea. Her skin matches her personality. Thick lips but not too thick, bluish-green eyes whose color you can’t quite pin to blue or green—eyes that leave you dumbstruck in conversation when it’s your time to speak. She likes to drink for the taste of alcohol—not for the drunkenness. She prefers gin to vodka, rum to whiskey. She adores flavored drinks and Amarettos.

      She was born in Guyana. She’s half-Lebanese and half-Chinese, and she went to school in Holland. She speaks English, Dutch, French and German—maybe Farsi and Arabic, too.

      We were in a book store and I was looking at this art book. Oil paintings of Scottish castles.

      “What are you reading?” she asked.

      “An art book,” I said.

      She snatched the book out of my hands and started thumbing through the pages.

      “I love art,” she said.

      I mentioned that I listened to flamenco music and her eyes grew wide—she was the only person on the trip who liked it, too.

      “I don’t know if she was saying she liked all these things because it was true or because she liked me. I don’t want her changing her opinion because of me. I want to know who she really is, you know? No need to put on any shows for me.”

      ***

      I captured the conversation and I filed it away. I forgot about it.

      My friend only saw the woman a few times before she ended up traveling away. He moved on.

      Nearly a decade later, when I was writing my book, Be a Writing Machine, I was describing how I keep a sketchbook, and I had an idea to share some examples.

      I have thousands of different entries—bits and pieces I’ve captured over the years.

      I found the conversation, and it brought a smile to my face.

      I told my friend about it, nearly ten years later, and he’d forgotten about her, too. Funny how life goes on.

      But he was floored when I read the entry to him. He couldn’t believe how good my memory was.

      It was a reminder to me of how cool that moment was for the both of us—him living it, and me hearing him retell it.

      That’s what I love about being a writer. When you capture someone on the page in true color, it moves people in many ways. It becomes permanent art that lasts forever. Even if it affects just one person, it was worth it.

      QUOTE OF THE WEEK

      “Memory…is the diary that we all carry about us.” Oscar Wilde

      Show's over, but it doesn't have to stop here.

      If you liked this episode, you and me are probably kindred spirits.

      WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS WEEK'S EPISODE?

       Let me know!

      Ep 26: Top 5 Life Secrets I Learned THIS YEAR

      Ep 26: Top 5 Life Secrets I Learned THIS YEAR

      [TheChamp-Sharing]

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      This week's episode is sponsored by my Patreon channel!

      For just $1/a month, you can support your favorite author (wink, wink). Check it out here. 

      SHOW NOTES

      In this week’s episode, I talk about 5 life secrets that I’ve learned this year alone from my professional life. This episode is not what you think it is.

        Sound/Music Credits for this week's episode

        Intro/Outro Music: “Kick. Push” by Ryan Little.

        Sound Effects/Miscellaneous Credits:

         

        Sound effects courtesy of Freesound.org.

        TRANSCRIPT

        As I record this episode, I am wrapping up my first year as a manager at a Fortune 100 insurance company. It’s not easy being a people-leader, especially when you have a family and a writing career to balance. But my experience as a manager taught me some important things about being a writer. In this episode I’ll be talking about 5 secrets I’ve learned as a corporate leader that have completely changed the way I approach my writing.

        ***

        Hello, and welcome to episode 26. This week I wanted to spend some time talking about my professional life and the interesting intersections it sometimes makes with my writing life.

        I prefer to keep my professional and creative lives separate, but sometimes they mix, and that’s okay.

        I never thought I would be a manager at a corporation. I never viewed myself as much of a leader in the business sense. I wasn’t like the other “leader” types.

        But I had a director who challenged me to try it, and I did. I took over a team of 10 people who depended on me every day. When something went wrong, they looked to me for the answer and guidance. And in the beginning, I knew absolutely nothing and probably frustrated them more than helped. But slowly I got better at solving their problems and helping each of them develop in their careers. Today, I’m far from perfect, but I like to think that I’ve got a handle on the basics of being a leader.

        And being a leader exposed some weaknesses as a writer that I didn’t really know were weaknesses. I’d like to share those with you.

        1 is that as a leader, I exist to serve my team.

        The best managers I’ve ever had always put their team first. They invested time into taking a personal interest in all of their team members, getting to know them, and helping them not just with the job, but with their careers. Most of the time, that meant challenging them with either additional responsibilities, or giving them very honest and direct feedback about how they were doing. I tried to emulate that.

        There are a lot of red herrings as a manager that can eat up your day. Metrics, projects, dumpster fires, etc. But I don’t think any manager can ultimately be successful unless they actually care about and support their people.

        It’s funny because I intuitively understood this as a manager and this part of the job came easily to me. But as a writer, I don’t know that I was taking that same approach to my readers, my listeners, and my YouTube subscribers.

        So I changed my approach and focused on serving them better, just like I focused on serving my team.

        2 is don’t be a knucklehead.

        It’s amazing how many people do things that sabotage their careers without knowing. All it takes is one bad perception to ruin peoples’ opinion of you. Optics are everything, right, wrong, or indifferent. That goes when you’re driving to work, in an interview, in a meeting, at lunch, or whenever. People are always watching.

        Everything you say and do has an impact. And people say and do some really, really stupid stuff on the job. And in life.

        I’ll leave it at that. Don’t be a knucklehead. If you have to ask whether something is a knucklehead move, then it means you are probably being a knucklehead.

        That’s why I take great care to make sure that I don’t do anything stupid in my writing career. I’ve always been careful about this, but being a manager has taught me to be careful in other ways, particularly legally and financially.

        3 is be your most authentic self.

        And I don’t mean the cliche version of this advice, or any of that “bring your whole self to work” crap that’s common in corporate circles.

        I just mean be real with people.

        Before I became a manager, I was careful about what I said. I sugarcoated things.

        As a manager, I can’t afford to. So if I have to have a tough conversation with someone about their performance, or give feedback about a system that’s not working, I have to be direct. Not a jerk, but direct.

        The same goes for writers. And honestly, I like to think I’ve done a good job being authentic with my fiction and this podcast.

        But I’ve just gotten better at bringing my authentic self to the page. Every week, I focus on capturing myself on this podcast. Everything you hear is me—no barriers, no filters. Just me being real with you.

        Being authentic sometimes means choosing paths that may not be commercially viable. Not at first.

        For example, I could have totally done a writing podcast where I interview people every week, or I could have focused on marketing tips for writers. That’s what sells. That’s what the masses want.

        I know that this podcast is not commercially viable, nor do I expect it to be. Yet I do it every week because it’s how I can connect with you guys in a way that’s different from everyone else, yet true to who I am. It’s my way of memorializing my journey.

        4 is playing the long game.

        This is something people in the corporate world don’t do very well. Honestly. They make decisions in the moment without thinking about how it will affect their careers. Managers and executives make short-time decisions that work in the moment without considering how it will affect their teams and customers in the long run. Right, wrong, or indifferent, there are a lot of people acting in their own short-term interests, usually to get the next job. Not everyone, but many.

        That’s never been the approach I’ve taken. Sure, there’s a time to make short-term decisions, but I care far more about my happiness in the future.

        As a writer, being a manager has given me a whole new appreciation for what it means to think long-term. And I was a pretty good long-term thinker before. But I think even longer term now. 10, 20, 30 years into the future.

        5 is to manage people through change.

        The corporate world is full of change. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. Especially when you’re a manager. You’re always planning for change, communicating change, and managing others through change. And to do that requires many skills. You’ve got to anticipate changes and how it will affect your team and then figure out how to address that. The key is how you communicate.

        If you think about it, that’s what a writer is doing, too. When you’re writing a novel, you’re really just managing readers through your story. A novel is ever-changing. If readers get confused with your story, they stop reading. If they get bored, they stop reading. Your job is to keep them interested and engaged.

        When you’re marketing a book, you’re also managing expectations. You need to provide clarity on what the book is about and why it’s the very book they need to buy this very moment. When readers are done reading, you need to convince them why they need to buy your next book, or sign up for your mailing list, or visit your website, or whatever. That’s easier said than done, but when done right, it’s simpler than you think. Being a manager helped me see this from a different perspective.

        So those are the five things I’ve learned as a leader. The final takeaway is that I’ve learned to think of myself as a leader here in the writing space. I didn’t before. But just as I lead a team at work, I’m also leading a tribe of readers and a tribe of writers. My challenge right now is creating content that’s worth following me for. And that, my friends, is a constant evolution that I’m still learning.

        QUOTE OF THE WEEK

        “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” John C. Maxwell

        Show's over, but it doesn't have to stop here.

        If you liked this episode, you and me are probably kindred spirits.

        WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS WEEK'S EPISODE?

         Let me know!

        Ep 25: 8/23/18 Progress Report

        Ep 25: 8/23/18 Progress Report

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        This week's episode is sponsored by my Author Level Up YouTube channel, which just celebrated hitting the 5,000 subscriber milestone! If you haven't subscribed, click the link and subscribe to get helpful writing videos every week!

        SHOW NOTES

        In this week’s episode, I give an update on two speaking engagements I’ll be participating in, and I share an old cassette from an old career that might surprise you.

        I’ll be speaking live at the following events:
        indieLAB Conference by Writer’s Digest (Sep 29-30): http://www.indielab.writersdigest.com 
        20Booksto50k Vegas Conference: http://www.20booksvegas.com 

          Sound/Music Credits for this week's episode

          Intro/Outro Music: “Kick. Push” by Ryan Little.

          “Parking Garage FX/Roomtone” by HazMatt: https://freesound.org/people/HazMattt/sounds/187290/  

          Sound effects courtesy of Freesound.org.

          TRANSCRIPT

          Hello, and welcome to episode 25. I just celebrated my birthday…the big 3-1…I didn’t do much. Birthdays are just another day for me, a day to drink tea, listen to jazz and contemplate my life.

          WRITING & MARKET UPDATES

          But I did have something really cool happen on my birthday, and that’s that Author Level Up reached 5,000 subscribers. I’m still shocked at how the channel is growing, so thanks to everyone who is subscribing and supporting me.

          In writing news, I’m in the process of developing my first information product. I can’t share what it is yet, but it’s for writers, and it will help them a lot. I’ll share more on that soon, probably in the coming months, as I plan to launch it in the near future if all goes well.
          In marketing news, I’m making my first public appearances at speaking engagements this fall!

          On September 29-30 I’ll be in Cincinnati, OH for indieLAB, which is a conference sponsored by Writer’s Digest. I’ll be representing the Alliance of Independent Authors, and I’ll be speaking on how to build your platform and reach readers with blogging, podcasting, and online video. So if you’re in Cincinnati and are attending indieLAB, be sure to stop by and say hi!

          On November 6-8, I’ll be in Las Vegas at the 20Booksto50K conference, sponsored by Michael Anderle and Craig Martelle. I’ll be speaking on how to balance writing with a full-time job. I love Vegas—I’ve been there many times, but never for a conference, so I’m really looking forward to this one. If you’re going to be there, holler at me and let me know!

          So most of my month this month has been spent preparing slides and material for both conferences, since they’re coming up on me pretty fast. But it’s definitely awesome to know that my work is paying off, and I’m excited about speaking in front of big crowds and seeing how I can improve my public speaking skills.

           

          LISTENER QUESTIONS

          We’ve got some listener questions this week. Big thanks to S. Chipasula-Perry, who emailed me a couple of great questions.

          The first is: My biggest frustration with my writing is getting words on the page. I have all of the outlines done. But my struggle is coming up with the words to start the story. How do you handle this?

          This is a common problem. After all, starting a novel is one of the most daunting things to do, especially if you fear the blank page. If you’ve done the work to outline, it sounds like you at least have an idea of how your story is going to start. A great technique I use is to think about the character and the problem they’re facing in that first scene—get inside their head, describe how they’re feeling or what they’re experiencing. Let that be the first line.

          Another technique that works for me is to either go on Amazon or to your local library, go to any section, and randomly pick five books. See how they start. Pick the most interesting one and copy the style of the opening couple of paragraphs. Don’t plagiarize, but try to imitate the spirit. I often find that this is enough to get me going.

          The second question is: When is a good time to collaborate on a project? Should you do it for your debut novel if you just want to get out there or wait until you are established?
          The best time to collaborate is when you’ve found your own voice. I don’t recommend collaborating on your first novel, or your tenth, honestly. Get a few books under your belt, and collaborate with someone who has a similar number of books out and who is in the same spot as you on their journey, maybe a little further ahead.

          I have collaborated on a series of novels. I wrote my Modern Necromancy series with my friend, Justin Sloan. We both had a few books published, and we had our own distinctive styles. Because we were aware of our writing voices, we were able to blend them together. If you aren’t aware of that, you’ll end up with a mess. To date, Modern Necromancy is one of my most commercially successful series. Readers even praised us for how well our styles blended together, so much that they didn’t even notice there were two people writing. That’s the goal you want to achieve, and it’s hard to do that if you’re brand new.

          And the final question is: I live in a town that doesn’t have a writer's community as far as jobs, groups, events, etc. How do I find a community with like-minded people?
          Personally, the best writers’ communities are online. You might start at a place called Kboards or 20Booksto50K. Those are both great places to meet new authors—there are some trolls lurking there, but the moderators do their best to control them. Comment on a few posts, find some authors on a similar wavelength as you, and then start your own group. I think the days of local groups are pretty much over. I’ve only ever had successful with a local group once—and that’s one out of 50. I don’t recommend them unless you can find people who are truly motivated, have actually published, and take their careers seriously. In all the local groups I’ve been part of, it’s been mostly writers who “want” to write, but never actually get around to it. Maybe that’s a topic for another show.
          Anyway, thank you S. Chipasula-Perry for your questions and for listening to the show.
          In other news, I found something cool to share with you guys.

          We had some really bad rains in Iowa this summer, and my basement flooded. Fortunately, the basement is unfinished so we didn’t lose much, but as my wife and I were going through my old things, I found a box of old cassette tapes.

          Many of you know that I’ve had a lot of odd jobs over the years. Janitor, soda delivery guy, auctioneer, etc. Well, one of the most interesting jobs I had was moonlighting as a therapist.

          I’ve been told that I have a calming voice and I’m good at building rapport with people. Many years ago I found an ad on Craigslist for a company that does therapy sessions for high-risk clients. And when I say high risk, I don’t mean suicide or drugs or anything like that. I’m talking high risk to society.

          That’s right, this company held therapy sessions for super villains. When they heard my calming voice, they hired me on the spot and paid me two-thousand dollars an hour. I helped a lot of bad guys become functioning members of society, and it’s one of the crowning achievements of my life that I don’t talk about very much.

          Anyway, I happen to have a recording from my therapy session with a villain called Rathgeist the Destroyer. I diffused what could have been a very difficult situation for the galaxy. Check this out.

          \*\*\*

          MICHAEL: Hello there. Can you pronounce your name for me again? I don’t think I caught it.

          RATHGEIST: My name is Rathgeist the Destroyer and if you address me as an equal one more time, I will rip you apart and feed your bones to the crows.

          MICHAEL: Well, that’s a hell of an introduction. Rathgeist, it’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Michael. Do you understand why you’re here?

          RATHGEIST: I got caught.

          MICHAEL: Yeah. Big time.

          RATHGEIST: I would do it all over again if I could.

          MICHAEL: The part where you obliterated a skyscraper or the part where you ripped a hole in the Andromeda Galaxy?

          RATHGEIST: Both, human.

          MICHAEL: OK. Let’s talk about that, then.

          RATHGEIST: It was glorious.

          MICHAEL: There are other things in the universe that are glorious without, you know, death. For example, just the other day, I had a cup of Jasmine tea, and it smelled like grapes. It was fantastic.

          RATHGEIST: I enjoy tea very much. You have impressed me, human.

          MICHAEL: That’s awesome, Rathgeist. Tea really brings people together. I have some my cabinet. I just bought a tea set. How about we continue this session, Gong-Fu style?

          RATHGEIST: I would like that very much. I prefer my tea crimson, infused with the blood of my enemies.

          MICHAEL: Uhh…why didn’t I see that coming? Why don’t we change topics? Have you ever considered alternatives to crime? You’ve been all of the universe, so would it be safe to assume you enjoy travel? I hear Helsinki is nice this time of year.

          RATHGEIST: Are you calling me weak?

          MICHAEL: Quite the opposite. What I said was—

          RATHGEIST: [ROARS]

          MICHAEL: Whoa, hey, Rathgeist, I didn’t mean to insult you.

          RATHGEIST: Screw this therapy. Screw society. I will destroy it.

          MICHAEL: Hey buddy, we’re making good progress. Why don’t you—Hey, stop—[SCREAMS]

          RATHGEIST: Puny human. [LAUGHS]

          ***

          Well, umm…that didn’t quite end like I thought it did. I could’ve sworn I convinced him to patch a hole that he made in the space-time continuum. That must have been a different client. Anyway, I learned a lot from my short-lived time as a therapist…but probably not a job I’d take again.

          QUOTE OF THE WEEK

          “Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.” Confucius

           

          Show's over, but it doesn't have to stop here.

          If you liked this episode, you and me are probably kindred spirits.

          WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS WEEK'S EPISODE?

           Let me know!

          Ep 24: How I Deal with Writer’s Block

          Ep 24: How I Deal with Writer’s Block

          [TheChamp-Sharing]

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          This week's episode is sponsored by Michael's direct book sales. Did you know that you can buy books from Michael directly, with the ebook delivered to your e-reader of choice? 

          Select your next book from his catalogue today: www.michaellaronn.com/books 

          SHOW NOTES

          Writer’s block affects every writer. In this episode, I talk about unique skill I’ve cultivated that has helped me turn moments of “writer’s block” into the best sources of my creativity.

            Sound/Music Credits for this week's episode

            Intro/Outro Music: “Kick. Push” by Ryan Little.

            Sound Effects/Miscellaneous Credits:

             

            Sound effects courtesy of Freesound.org.

            TRANSCRIPT

            Writer’s Block hits every writer. Some can deal with it in a matter of hours, some can overcome it in a matter of days, and others, unfortunately, never beat it.

            I don’t personally believe in writer’s block, but there have been times when I’ve been stuck in my books.

            This week, I’m going to talk about how I power through the hard times, and a unique skill I’ve cultivated that has helped me turn moments of “writer’s block” into the best sources of my creativity.

            ***

            Hello, and welcome to episode 24.

            For my behind the scenes episode this week, I wanted to spend some time talking about how I deal with writer’s block.

            I mentioned that I don’t believe in Writer’s Block. I know that sounds a little smug, but here’s my problem with the word “writer’s block”—it’s really just an excuse most of the time.

            It’s so easy to say, “I can’t write because I have writer’s block.” And then days and months pass and you have nothing to show for it.

            Most authorities in writing treat writer’s block as a major struggle to be won. It’s this huge battle that writer’s face on a regular basis…

            I just refuse to believe all of that.

            I believe that we as writers have to do a better job of focusing on solutions, not excuses. And writer’s block to me seems like a really convenient excuse. Let me explain.

            ***

            Now, I don’t mean to diminish the struggle that people feel when they’re stuck in their manuscript. All writers get stuck and that’s the truth. I’ve been stuck in my own books many times.

            However, I think mindset is really important and goes a long way here.

            Despite the fact that I’m stuck, I don’t call it writer’s block.

            I’m going to get metaphysical for a minute, but stick with me.

            I believe that your subconscious is the source of your creativity. It knows exactly what to write, how to write, and where. My subconscious—or muse—or creative voice as Dean Wesley Smith calls it—is my guiding light. It will help you over every obstacle if you just listen to it.

            But most people can’t and won’t do that. Instead, they write from the logical part of their brains, which is actually not a very good idea because this part of the brain is also where the inner critic lives. The writer often undermines what the subconscious originally gives them, because he or she thinks that she ultimately knows better and knows what readers want.

            When writers quit, it’s usually because of the inner critic giving up.

            I personally believe that abolishing the inner critic is one of the most important things a writer must do to be creative.

            When you do that, you’ll actually be able to LISTEN to your subconscious. And that’s how you remain creative.

            And when you LISTEN to your subconscious, it will actually tell you what it needs.

            It’s not stuck because of writer’s block. It’s stuck because it needs something. I view it as my job to give it what it needs.

            ***

            Let me give you my best example of nurturing my creative voice.

            In my novel, Android Deception, I got to a section halfway through the book and got stuck.

            I fought against it for a long time, dragging myself to my computer and trying to bang out words, but it didn’t work.

            Instead, I listened to myself and let myself drift.

            My wife and I visited a local bakery that I had never been to before. That experience was exactly what I needed. It was amazing experience—creative decor, incredible ambience, and lots of interesting people.

            While I was there, I remember asking myself, “How would I write this into a novel?”

            And I connected it to my novel. When I got home, it turns out that scene gave me the inspiration I needed, and I wrote the bakery into the next chapter. That ended up being the most memorable chapter in the book.

            So did I have writer’s block?

            No.

            I gave my subconscious what it needed, which was a new experience. I leaned into the fact that I didn’t know what to write next. In other words, I let myself drift. I let life happen around me and I was rewarded for it as a result.

            I view writer’s block as productive discomfort. Instead of fearing it, I embrace it.

            It’s like when your car skids out of control. The natural inclination is to swerve the opposite direction, but that makes it worse. The way to regain control is actually to lean into the direction your car is swerving.

            For me, writing is no different.

            Now, I’ll admit. Some people might hear this message and think, Cool, I can procrastinate when I get stuck!

            I’m not saying that. Drifting and listening to your subconscious sometimes is a matter of having strong will and motivation to return to your manuscript. Otherwise, you’ll never finish.

            I don’t let myself drift for very long. Just long enough to let life seep in to my novels. And if you live life to the fullest, keep your eyes open, and pay attention to your surroundings, it won’t take very long.

            Anyway, I thought I’d share that secret with you, as it’s gotten me through a fair amount of pain points in my books. I talk more about this in my book, Be a Writing Machine, if you want to hear more about writing process.

            QUOTE OF THE WEEK

            “Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” John Quincy Adams

             

            Show's over, but it doesn't have to stop here.

            If you liked this episode, you and me are probably kindred spirits.

            WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS WEEK'S EPISODE?

             Let me know!

            Ep 23: The Man Known Only as “Bus Driver”

            Ep 23: The Man Known Only as “Bus Driver”

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             This week's episode is sponsored by my Patreon channel. Support one of your favorite writers (wink, wink) for just $1/month. That will keep these shows coming. 

            Be a patron today at www.patreon.com/michaellaronn 

            SHOW NOTES

             

            There are some people you’ll never forget. In this week’s sketchbook episode, I talk about a school bus driver who made an incredible impression on me, and taught me an important lesson that I still use even today.

              Sound/Music Credits for this week's episode

              Intro/Outro Music: “Kick. Push” by Ryan Little.

              Sound Effects/Miscellaneous Credits:

              School bus ride by cognito perceptu: https://freesound.org/people/cognito%20perceptu/sounds/84241/

              Vehicle_School Bus Stop Sequence by CGEffex: https://freesound.org/people/CGEffex/sounds/89569/

              School Kids Walk by Makosan: https://freesound.org/people/makosan/sounds/34716/

              Bus Door by zombiechick: https://freesound.org/people/zombiechick/sounds/380320/

              Night on the Docks by Kevin Macleod: http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kevin_MacLeod/Jazz_Sampler/Night_on_the_Docks_-_Sax_1206 

              Sound effects courtesy of Freesound.org.

              TRANSCRIPT

              There are some people you’ll never forget as long as you live.

              This week, we’re going back to 1999. I was in seventh grade, and my primary mode of transportation was a school bus. I can remember many, many frosty mornings standing on a corner in my apartment complex waiting for bus number 546 to lumber up to the curb.

              The door would creak open, and every day it was the same bus driver, an elderly black man with gray stubble, a denim Oxford, and trucker cap. In my entire two years, I don’t think he ever missed a day.

              I consider him an early mentor, and he taught me a lot about humility, and how to deal with trolls. He’s the subject of my sketchbook today.

              ***

              Hello, and welcome to episode 23.

              Let me just start this week’s sketchbook out by saying that I was bullied pretty bad. While I look back on my middle school days fondly, I can’t look at them without feeling some pain, either. And when I think about those days, the things that got me through the constant bullying and teasing and fights, it was the guidance of teachers and adults that ultimately believed in me and helped because they wanted to see kids succeed.

              I went to school with a lot of kids who thought they were invincible and disrespected adults something awful. And when I say disrespect, I mean cursing, punching, and all kinds of other verbal and physical harm. It was tough to be a teacher in my middle school. There were many days where teachers ended up with black eyes for trying busting up fights. My principal got assaulted in the parking lot one night after school.

              Not even the school buses were safe. Fights broke out there, too, more times than I liked to count.

              Which brings me to my bus driver, a man just doing his job in a hostile environment.

              ***

              No one ever knew the man’s name, so everyone just called him bus driver. He only had one facial-expression, and that was stone-faced, staring straight ahead. He looked like a man who’d had a life of quiet disappointment, probably because he was driving a school bus of rowdy kids who disrespected him every day.

              He wore the same thing every day: a denim oxford and a trucker cap. He had a potbelly, and a voice that reminded me of Bill Cosby. In fact, that’s why the kids made fun of him. Not a single day went by where someone in the back of the bus didn’t bust out a Bill Cosby impersonation just to mock him.

              The kids mocked him for what he wore. They mocked him for being quiet, taunting him and trying to get him to talk, and he would ignore them. He’d focus on driving the bus methodically through his serpentine route.

              He took a lot of crap, and he took it gracefully.

              ***

              Two incidents forever made me a fan of this man.

              He was, at that point in my life, the only person I had ever seen who was bullied more than me. Those kids terrorized him like you wouldn’t believe, and as much as I hated to see it, seeing someone else be terrorized instead of me for a change was a welcome breather, time for me to reflect on those long bus rides home.

              As is any nerdy kid’s custom, I usually sat in the front of the bus, directly behind him. I’d stare wistfully out the window.

              One day, he spoke to me. I don’t know how or why.

              But he must have believed I was only kid on that bus that was worth talking to, because he never spoke to anyone else.

              He was incredibly friendly to me. I thought he hated his life based on his facial expression, but when he spoke, he was actually very warm.

              “You’re not like the other knuckleheads in the back of the bus,” he told me. He’d ask me about my classes and how they were going. He’d ask about my family. And we’d have pleasant conversation. Hell, we talked about philosophy and about the ways of people.

              ***

              Near the end of my eighth grade year, he said something I’ll never forget.

              He said, “You look like you’re destined to go somewhere in life, wise beyond your years. The other kids here, they just talk and don’t know what they’re talking about. You look like the kind of kid that gets all the facts and makes up your mind for yourself. That’s gonna take you a long way.”

              I don’t really remember the details of all our conversations, but I’ll never forget that.

              Here was a man I only spoke to for maybe twenty minutes a day, but I learned a lot from him. I connected with him in a way that I didn’t with other adults. I viewed him as an elder, like my grandparents and great grandparents.

              He believed in civility. He treated people with respect even if they disrespected you. He believed in jazz and its power to transform a person’s life. He believed in doing a good job because that was the minimum of what was expected of you. He believed that as a black man, it was his responsibility to be a role model to other black people, especially the young pups, and he told me many times that I needed to pass that on.

              ***

              The second incident, I saw him break.

              Those kids broke him.

              I suppose one can only take so much before he snaps.

              It was just before summer vacation at the end of the day, and a kid got on the bus with a CD player. I didn’t think anything of it as he passed. But soon, the assistant principal ran onto the bus and called the boy’s name.

              Turns out the kid’s teacher had confiscated his CD player because he was listening to it in class, and he stole it out of his teacher’s desk before he left.

              The confrontation immediately turned into a shouting match, and the kid called the assistant principal all kinds of bad names. The bus driver sat silently as the encounter unfolded, eyeing the boy in the rearview mirror.

              ***

              Eventually, the assistant principal confiscated the CD player, and I don’t remember why, but they let the kid ride the bus home. The whole way home, he was making passive aggressive remarks about the principal, the school, and life in general, in colorful words I won’t repeat.

              Anyway, the bus is driving down a busy street when the kid says something to the tune of, “Everybody in this school would be much better off without teachers treating school like slave day.” Imagine that, but with more curse words.

              The bus screeched to a stop. Seriously, I didn’t know a school bus could stop that fast.

              The bus driver put the bus in park and stood up.

              “What did you say, boy?” he asked calmly.

              “It’s a motherfuckin’ slave day!” the kid shouted.

              “Slave day?” the bus driver asked. “You don’t know the meaning of slave day.”

              And then the bus driver exploded. He lectured the entire bus on how insolent we were and as black people that was a damn shame. He said a lot of slaves died so we could be more than just three-fifths of a person and actually live in this society as free people.

              And, predictably, the kid cursed him out.

              And the bus driver shut him up and got even madder. He pointed a finger at the kid and said a lot of people stood up and spoke out just so we could ride a bus in the first place. And here this kid was with his first world problems mad, at the principal because the principal was enforcing the rules.

              He opened the bus door, which led into the middle of traffic, told the boy to get the hell off his bus.

              Then he drove off, leaving the boy standing on the curb.

              I’ve never heard that bus so quiet. And if that wasn’t enough, the bus driver then glanced at us with a harsh warning.

              “Any of you wanna talk like that, I’ll put you off my bus!”

              And then he didn’t say another word.

              ***

              Hoped you liked that one. That bus driver was unforgettable. And he got in a lot of trouble for that incident. After all, he lost his composure and endangered a child.

              After everything transpired, he told me that he almost lost his job over it. But he didn’t seem to mind. A job’s a job, and he could drive a bus in any school district, probably better ones than mine.

              Many years later, when I was working in corporate America and took a stand for what I believed in and almost lost my own job as a result, I thought of him, and his quiet confidence.

              QUOTE OF THE WEEK

              “If you would know strength and patience, welcome the company of trees.” Hal Borland

               

              Show's over, but it doesn't have to stop here.

              If you liked this episode, you and me are probably kindred spirits.

              WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS WEEK'S EPISODE?

               Let me know!